We just did a 3 day trip for my wife's 40th. Stayed in Calistoga (Mountain View Inn) and loved the town. Agree with what others have said about hiring a driver for at least one day. They can make arrangements for wineries that you might never find on your own. This is the driver we used...
https://nvboutiquewinetours.com/. We went to 3 amazing wineries that day. Cimarossa, Reverie, and Watermark.
SFO was our best option with direct flights. Rented a car, stopped in Sausalito for a couple hours to grab lunch and walk around a bit on our drive up to the Napa area. It's an awesome town to see if you've never been there.