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I'm echoing multiple other posts, but I would test drive both. Since you don't know how to drive manual, get some practice with a friend who has a manual and then go test drive. Also understand that in this market, switching out of either car will not be light financially if you decide that whichever you've bought you'd rather something else.
I've got a MT m3 on order, but have spent a bit of time in a MT m4 and can say even with my 60mi round trip work commute (95% highway) 2x a week I'm still springing for a manual. I've had the x3m comp, currently have a model s plaid. So I can understand everyone's comments about being fast in a straight line and best 0-60 etc. Personally the AT mixed with the high hp is just boring for me. Yes it is wonderful to leave the car in Auto and cruise then hit m2 mode and rip the car, but for me it doesn't evoke the same emotion. Especially considering it's a nearly $100k car. But that is also the positive point of the vehicle. The dual nature personality.
Simple. Learn manual with a friend, or honestly you can jump in and get the m3 as your first manual and be happy. Many others have done that and if you truly love the manual then just get it.
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